I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
