Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
