Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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