i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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