Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
