You really coming over, don't trick.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
being pregnant is like rehab
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
