there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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