im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
