question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
