I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
