you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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