just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
