Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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