Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
