i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
