When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
