There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
