So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
