My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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