dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
