Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Are we still banned from the library?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
