Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
