I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
