It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
