I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
