I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
