You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
