Someone shit on the floor
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
