also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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