No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Oh god it's open bar.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
