so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
