there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
