Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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