Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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