we have officially lost it.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
