He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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