He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
