there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
