Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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