She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
