Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
