Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
