I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
