Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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