giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
