She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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