areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Holy shit dude........stairs
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