God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
