how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
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