She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
