oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
