if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
